The Tin Lizzie Troop by Glendon Swarthout

During the Mexican-American border campaign of 1916 during which 100,000 national guardsmen were called up to defend the US against raiding Mexican bandits, an incident took place that resulted in the first ever mechanized infantry engagement. This novel, by American writer Glendon Swarthout, takes a humorous (and fictionalized) view of that event, resulting in a fun read indeed.

General Blackjack Pershing’s fruitless chase of Pancho Villa took all the headlines at the time but here we follow Lt. Stanley Dinkle, commander of Patrol Post No. 2 based out of Ft. Bliss. A rotation of National Guardsman perform a tour of duty for a month at a time under his command and this time it is six members of the Philadelphia Light Horse. Officially they are national guard but in reality they are the sons of wealthy hoity-toity military men’s club members. Naturally, they expect their tour of duty to be nothing but fun and games. Among their gear are polo mallets, a Victrola phonograph, and two Ford Model T automobiles.

When Lt Dinkle is granted leave in El Paso for a weekend, he leaves one of the six men in charge and of course everything goes to Hell. They are raided by Mexican bandits, their horses stolen, and a local homely maiden is kidnapped. The very honor of the Philadelphia Light Horse is at stake! Against all orders, they cross the Rio Grande and charge toward the bandits. However, they soon learn that Model T’s racing across the desert tend to encounter all sorts of mechanical problems that horses do not.

This is the funniest novel I have read in a long time. Nearly every line, whether dialog or not is humorous in one way or another. It combines farcical situations with some surprising pathos. And it also contains some shockingly violent scenes. It’s like reading a Monty Python skit as directed by Quentin Tarantino. A movie version was almost made staring Paul Newman. Too bad it wasn’t. I would have paid to see that.